CEDAR JUDD | 12·17·2018 | 7 lbs 3 oz | 21 inches
here are the cliff notes for those that don’t want the full story.
my water broke at 10:30 pm after telling God that I really wanted to have this baby tonight. At that point, I was only having braxtons but nothing out of the ordinary. Within thirty minutes of my water breaking I went into transition & contractions intensified but no pain — he was born at 2:42 am with 4 pushes (after barely making it to the birth center) - we didn't think he would come so fast!
If you want all the details + some encouragement, please read on.
I knew immediately that God had his hand on this child + I knew I wanted supernatural childbirth - I knew that the curse from the beginning no longer had a hold on my life - I was under the new covenant and painful childbearing was not my portion.
But this was my first baby and I had no idea what to expect.
I knew a handful of women that had a supernatural, pain-free childbirth & also a few who wanted it but didn’t get one. My sister-in-law, Kelsey, being one of them. She has 3 boys and all of her natural births were supernatural.
we decided to have him at a birthing center here - in Albuquerque, new mexico with a midwife. we went through the mandatory birthing classes and learned so much about childbirth. I was encouraged to have a natural labor and that was my desire. I was determined and very expectant for the Lord to be with me through every step.
I wish I could say that my faith was huge - that I prayed every day and contended all the time… but that wasn’t my reality.
I did pray. I did contend.
but I practiced just being in his presence.
enjoying Him.
abiding in Him
& enjoying this gift of life inside my womb.
He spoke to me about praising him in the midst of one of the most difficult seasons of my life.
to keep my eyes focused on him.
he would softly whisper - c o n t e n d
and he lead me to Micah 6:1
“Hear what the Lord says: arise, p l e a d your case before the mountains & let the hills hear your v o i c e.”
I had a lot of doubts and only a little bit of fear.
he told me to plead - to defend my right standing - my identity as His beloved daughter.
that the enemy has no hold on me - that He is pleading with me and defending me.
his presence will not leave me and my praise will be
i m m o v a b l e through any storm.
so shout and let your voice be heard
Let the fears - doubts - lies fall aside. Let the truth reside.
He is faithful.
Leading up to week 40 - my pastor, Papa Alan, shared a message about perseverance and patience & in the sermon he kept asking “what do you want”
& all I wanted was to have this baby on time - since everyone around me kept saying “oh it’s your first - you’ll be two weeks late”
This was the lie that kept creeping in & I was seriously fighting it off.
This was not what HE promised me.
I decided to keep my eyes on the things he spoke.
I was 40 weeks & 1 day - my best friend had just flown into town & I am just hoping she would get to meet this little dude.
I noticed that evening that I had a little bit of a trickle and I just thought that it was my mucus plug or something. I was having braxton hicks but not anything abnormal.
So I pretty much ignored it & doubted what my body was doing.
Later that night - I was sitting in bed journaling and talking to the Lord and I kept hearing Papa Alan’s voice - “what do you want?”
I replied - I want to have this baby tonight. I am so ready to meet this bundle of joy and experience your faithfulness Abba.
He spoke to me and said,
“I am in the waiting - I am with you & I will not disappoint you - my ways are higher - remind yourself who I am and of my goodness.”
& he took me to Psalm 37
‘t r u s t in the Lord & do good,
d w e l l in the land & feed on his f a i t h f u l n e s s.
d e l i g h t yourself in the lord and he shall give you the desires of your heart.
I sat there and dwelled on his words of truth and I said to my husband, Danny - let’s pray.
It was about 10:15 pm and I began to pray & we both were drifting off into sleep when
“POP” my water broke at 10:30 pm. It was so loud I let out a screech and scared Danny.
It startled me and here came all the emotions.
I began to laugh because I just prayed that I wanted to have this baby and here I am - it’s happening.
Right now.
Jesus heard me L O U D & clear! Haha
Within thirty minutes my contractions intensified and I began to puke - my husband asked “Do you think this is already transition?”
& I am thinking - NO way! It can’t be that fast… everyone says that with your first baby it could take 12-24 hours… well everyone else was wrong.
I was overwhelmed with peace despite the puking - that didn’t bother me too much - I was able to just focus on Jesus and each contraction would come and go & every time I was shocked at how they did not hurt! We had called the midwife and she told us to wait until the contractions were 2-3 minutes apart & at this point, I was 4-5 minutes.
It was about 1 am & I knew it was time to go - we lived about thirty minutes from the birthing center — but my husband was still stalling, he didn’t think the baby was that close yet.
I finally convinced him and we got in the car to leave.
At this moment - I lost composure and focus. I got nervous as we were getting into the car + we live on a dirt road & let me tell you those bumps were not very fun at all. I was uncomfortable & the next contractions actually hurt — which took me a bit off guard!
I just kept praying/yelling “Jesus - I need you back here - you bind the chaos - you are my peace - I need you.”
& once that fear + anxiety left - his peace came back and the rest of the drive was me trying not to push this baby out in the car. I had that overwhelming urge but I was like “nope” - we are getting there!
We got to the center & all I wanted was a water birth - so they started the tub and my midwife checked me & I was 10cm - ready to push. It was about 1:45 am - & I waited to get the urge to push again BUT the tub didn’t fill up in time. He came with 4 pushes as I laid on the bed! He was born at 2:42 am and we were overwhelmed - I could not believe that I just birthed this tiny baby and he was laying on my chest - it was my baby! He’s here!
His name Cedar Judd means immovable praise - since he was the life that truly taught us to be strong and immovable in our faith - because the prayer of praise is the gate of triumph.
I hope this encourages some of you - I know one of the biggest lies was "oh you're not spiritual enough or pray enough etc. + it happened for them but can't for me"
THAT IS NOT TRUE - you are strong + fearless & were created to birth babies - this is the way HE intended childbirth to be - all in His glory & presence.
He hears your prayers + He is so faithful.
Listen for His voice and let His peace overflow.
Oh and do not doubt yourself - trust Him + your body!
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