I am going to tell you that birth is something that I find completely miraculous + a gift from God // it is something that is so incredible & does NOT have to be filled with fear + pain. I have truly experienced this in my first birth with Cedar & and again with Flynt.
BUT my two experiences were completely different.
I had to wage war against fear.
my contractions started in the afternoon but were far apart. I kept on with my day, took a nap, watered the flowers, chased Cedar around — all the normal things. I began to track my contractions around dinner time & by 8 pm they were about 10 minutes apart.
I REALLY wanted a to birth in the amazing birthing tubs at Dar a Luz Birth Center (since with my first, my labor went so fast the tub didn’t fill up in time). So we called the midwife and decided to meet her there around 10pm. At this point, my contractions were strong but I just breathed + rested through them. At this point - I also made a comment about how amazing it would be if he was born en caul. I chose to believe that it was possible.
we arrived to the birth center closer to 10:30pm & my midwife checked me // I was only about 3cm but 70% effaced. I knew things were going to pick up quickly since I had so much peace fill me up once we arrived. Over the next two hours - I labored in + out of the tub (all while Danny napped) — by midnight I was 6cm.
I was sitting in the tub & I heard the Lord tell me to rest because at 1:23am things were going to shift. My contractions got stronger + stronger — this is where I began to battle fear. Until this point my contractions weren’t painful, just strong. I began to let fear creep in & my next contractions were painful. I then was super discouraged & thus began a mental battle. I looked up and it was 1:23am. At that moment I transitioned, I began to throw up (pretty typical for me) & I told Danny I needed him to pray for me because I did not want to fear — the lie that I was believing was that I would tear again — once I confessed that lie + pressed into His peace — I could tangibly feel God’s presence there.
My midwife also said something at this moment that encouraged me deeply — “remember that the fullness & power of creation is within you.” && how true is that — God created us wonderfully + gave us the power to create and bring forth life.
&& then I got the urge to push & with just two pushes, he was here. He was born with his water sac still in tact! The midwife had to peel that off & then she handed him to me. I was overcome with joy.
every bit of this story was an answer to prayer - being able to birth in the tub, a slower labor (my first was 4 hours), him being born en caul, & the moments of choosing to believe that peace is my portion not fear. there is so much power in our words + what we choose to believe.
& as my midwife said “he basically fell out of you… awesome job.”
&& if you want to hear more -- here's a little story on his name:
In order to explain the fullness of this little guy’s name — you need a bit of backstory.
· at 12 weeks - I was told they couldn’t find a heart beat (then at the follow up 24 hours later, his heart was beating strong)
· at 20 weeks - I was driving to church and on my way I hit a patch of ice on the road & flipped our truck upside down (it was totaled)
· at 26 weeks - we faced a global pandemic that would change life
· at 34 weeks - I faced the 2nd anniversary of my Mama Lyn passing + was having hypertension issues.
· at 38.5 weeks I went into labor + was able to spend two amazing days with him.
· at day 3 postpartum - I was rushed to the hospital for postpartum preeclampsia where I spent the next four days alone + separated from my baby + family.
& one day the Lord reminded me of a prophetic word I received years ago from the scripture Isaiah 50:7 “therefore, I have set my face like flint…” & essentially she prayed over me that I would be a pillar of strength — that I am placed purposefully in the season that I am in — to set my face like flint in the midst of trials. so I suggested this name to Dan but thought how cool would it be if we replaced the “i” with a “y” so that way we could honor Mama Lyn.
& as I sat in the hospital — I began to pray for more clarity on what we were to name this baby. We had a lot of ideas + names we had been thinking about for a while. I knew I wanted to use the name Shepherd based out of Psalm 23 — the name encompasses peace (which was totally his birth story) + triumph.
I kept debating between these names + others but Danny kept saying — “I think he is Flynt.” Then my dear friend sent me a passage out of Deuteronomy 8 about remembering the Lord in the wilderness. I read through this passage & at every turn the Lord met me — in verse 15 he talks about how He brought forth water from the flinty rock & how He makes a way in the wilderness + rivers in the desert.
Flynt Shepherd is exactly that — the refreshing water to our thirsty souls, the one who restores + revives life, the peace in the valley, the light in the darkest of times & the strength in the storm.
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